The telltale signs of a toxic lesbian relationship
If your partner shows any one of these signs, you should talk and try to sort it out. But if they show three or more flags from the list, then it’s time for a nice long thinking session and maybe a little packing as you run in the opposite direction.
Flag 1. She is controlling
Relationships mean letting a new person into one’s life and value their insight. But if one’s partner wants to decide what one can wear, where one can go, and who one can hang out with, then the relationship becomes not only draining but also toxic.
Flag 2. She is always the victim
She claims that all her exes were crazy, liars, or cheaters. All her past lovers were horrible. She was mistreated in every relationship she has had. If she possesses a victim mentality or loves to badmouth her exes, chances are your relationship won’t work out, and it will be you she’ll be demonizing four months later.
Flag 3. She is mean
No one likes a mean person. And having a mean significant other can turn nasty fast. Imagine being married to someone unkind or raising kids with a woman who does not possess empathy. It seems like a nightmare, right? If your girlfriend is unfairly mean to waiters, janitors, your neighbors, friends, family, you, or even the stray cat that lives in your street, it is time to ring the warning bells.
Flag 4. She doesn’t support your passions
Maybe you love knitting jumpers for cats, making body art, or brewing pilsners. People have all kinds of unconventional hobbies and passions. It is essential to have a partner who supports you in the things you love. The beauty of one’s relationship is in the growth two women experience together. If one’s partner is hindering one’s personal growth, then she is not the right girl.
Flag 4. She does not respect your boundaries
It is exhausting to date a partner who refuses to respect one’s boundaries and the pace with which one is comfortable. It is necessary to have one’s own space even in a serious relationship.
Flag 5. She wants to call all the shots
She wants to plan all date nights, pick all your friends, and dictate what things you can do as a couple. Her decisions are set in stone, with no room for your wishes or insight.
Flag 6. Her ex is always in the room
She loves to make her ex the topic of conversation. She likes to bring her ex up and complain or compare at any given moment. She makes one feel like one is competing with the ghost of an ex.
Flag 7. How lesbians overlook these warning signs
Women are more passionate and forgiving than men. They prefer to avoid conflict and see the best in people. This can lead to lesbians ignoring several red flags while dating. Societal grooming conditions women to be more accommodating and compromising. We form deeper emotional connections and get attached faster. All these factors lead up to lesbians not recognizing red flags, or actively choosing to ignore them for the sake of the relationship.
If one can see any alarming traits in one’s significant other, it is time to realign one’s views of the nature of one’s relationship and how healthy it is.